Níl Saoi Gan Locht

“I won’t tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn’t change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have”.
—Stephen Chbosky

Everybody has something. Níl saoi gan locht.
Acceptance happens when you can finally look in the mirror and say “Yes, this is me. And I’m ok with that”.

There are certain things you can only understand and appreciate after being within inches of rock bottom. There are certain moments when you realise you are actually happy again, and that very fact makes you happy. Saying the words; “I’m okay”, and actually knowing you mean it. It is nearly worth all the hard times put together and shoved in front of you like an ignorant pedestrian walking out in front of your car when there’s clearly no green man in sight.
All of a sudden you become aware that the fog has lifted somewhat, that there actually was a fog, a kind of blank apathy that literally nothing could penetrate – but that things are clear again. Like opening the curtains and seeing a pure blue sky for the first time in months, and you know it means that Summer is coming, and whether or not you usually enjoy Summer doesn’t come into context because you know that it can be whatever you make it.

It’s not a matter of choosing to be happy, because that’s just not possible. You can choose to implement things into your life that you know will affect you positively. You can choose to remove things from your life that you know affect you negatively. It all sounds very black and white when it’s put like that. But it’s more technicoloured than that. It’s a palette of colours and moods and emotions and contributing factors that combine to establish your dominant mood over a period of time. And everyone’s are different. There’s not a single person on this earth that can have possibly experienced the same as you. It’s about recognizing and knowing yourself. Mindfulness. Knowing your own mind and emotions and how they work. Knowing your own body. Being able to control what influences it. It’s a work in progress. Nothing is finished yet.

But here’s to being happy again.

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